In looking at the original I think your idea is a great one. I love the layer you choose and the model is absolutely gorgeous. I always say that eyes are the most important thing in a portrait and her eyes do just that. I like the dreamy look of the entire image.

If anything the image looks blown out on her check and her shoulder. Bring it out more becuase if it werent for her hair it would look like a floating head. I think you said you used a layer so fixing it should be no problem. But most definately your attempt at this image was a great one!

ok, here i go!

its a gorgeous portrait, very well composed and beautifully lit, i think the only thing i would change is that the shadow over her right eye is a little distracting (not sure how you would go about getting rid of that though, maybe some nifty reflector work!) and it makes her eye slightly darker and knocks the lovely symmetry of her face off slightly.

as for the texture overlay, it looks really nice but i think that there is a little bit over her neck that could be got rid of as it makes her neck look a lot slimmer and giving her a bit of a 'bobble-head' look which isnt very flattering dead easy to fix though i think!

overall i think its lovely, a great attempt at the photo that inspired you, and considering i know what the original looked like, its a completely different photo and it looks beautiful